It was a sunny morning as we sped up the M1, so I ignored the ‘beware fog’ signs that were placed every mile or so, I had promised to drop Mrs Murph at Meadowhall shopping centre in Sheffield, shopping is her first love and she could shop for Ireland. Like fools we had both forgotten our mobile phones, mind you if only one of us had a ‘phone, we’d be in the same position! So we had to do what we did in the old days arrange beforehand where to meet up, meet at 5.45 outside the car park.

I parked in Beeston, where the terrorists come from (only joking) in fact the only rucksack carrier I saw was Lucy (aka Mrs Bluesky) a blues fan from Newcastle, who ignored me.

As I always do, I parked up ready to make a quick getaway and I ambled down the hill towards Elland Road. Leeds is not the same place as in days of old, as in my many visits in the past, I’d be warily looking out for an ambush, things have changed and everything was friendly, fans meeting up, going for drinks, parking up and buying replica kit from the Leeds club shop.

I was strolling towards a pub, when I noticed two lads, in all the ‘hoolie’ gear caps etc, who crossed the road behind me and trailed me for 50 yards or so, I was getting myself ready for a bit of a ‘do’, when a voice from behind said ‘scuwse me matee, de yaw naw if there’s a pub anywhere?’ (poor attempt at typing brummie), I gave them the directions to the pub about a 100yards ahead, that I was going to, to meet some of the MIB and KRO crowd.

It was now a really sunny day and the pub was half full with ‘noses and the MIB crowd were sat outside supping beer and chatting, MIB Dave and I swapped stories about previous trips to Leeds and the aggro that started as soon as we would get off the train to be met by equal numbers and the ambushes on the long walk from the train station. Then an awful sight, Dave showed me where his teeth had been knocked out in the 70’s! I don’t mean the literal place I mean the place where his teeth used to be..Dave I trust you mate, I didn’t need to see the evidence.

My mind can’t help thinking back to the 70s,as I see so many ‘old boys’ attending the games and I don’t mean Zulu’s I mean the pre Zulu, 70s boot boys, all grey haired (well those with hair) who still follow the blues, mainly for the beer and craic these days…I include myself in this group.

Outside the ground, I stood with other ‘noses, basking in the sun next to the statue of Billy Bremner and two things came in to my mind, first, who would we have a statue of, outside stan’s?

Joe Bradford? Bertie Auld? TF? Duggs? my own choice would be Bertie Auld, why? He introduced our anthem, ‘Keep Right On’ to the players and it was taken up by the fans during the ’56 cup run and the song says more about us ‘noses than anything else, he was also a terrier of a player, hard as nails and liked a drink!! ( reminds’ me of blues fans).

The second thought occurred, while I was looking at the huge Police presence, all in body armour, horses, dogs and more camera’s than the BBC outside broadcasting team, I saw a copper with a bleached blond ‘savage-like’ pony tail, he was stood next to the statue, looking about, posing and filming blues fans and my thought was…what a prat!!

The away end at Leeds is one of the crapiest, poor facilities and posts that obscure the view, the queue for beer was long and full of singing ‘noses halfway through a beer, but in the queue for their next! Elland Road was half empty, shame to see the whole of the top tier of the East stand devoid of fans, our end was virtually full.

The game started at a fast pace and blues were defending like a comedy act, they looked if they had only met before the game, I don’t like to do our boys down but, Billy Smarts circus clowns could defend better than our back four, yesterday.

McSheff hit the bar and we let them come up our end and after some comedy defending to give away a free kick and poor marking as the ball was crossed over, leaving Healy to hit a cracker, we were one down. The blues fans’ were in fine voice, especially after an equaliser, the 'we hate villa more than you' song took a hammering as did the 'if I die on Aston street'.Then the Horse showed that he could dive with the best, by theatrically falling over a rash challenge by Painter, who was performing well as part of the comedy back four.

The bar was doing a roaring trade and despite having no TV’s, many blues fans just stayed there during the game and at half time they were joined by a milling throng trying to get a beer and the long wait and poor service meant that some tempers were fraying.

Now my first half enjoyment was enhanced by comments a lad of about 12/13, who had learnt his football from TV pundits and his dad/uncles etc  ‘are you taking bungs, ref’, ‘show some commitment’ ‘fight for the shirt’ ‘it’s a whole new ball game’..and loads more that I can’t remember, he was ‘cliché kid’ and was giving me and those around me great amusement.

The second half was brightened by the appearance of ‘pony tail cop’ and he was getting stick ‘are you savage in disguise’ and ‘where’s your camera gone?’ and  ‘gayboy’, but soon the camera’s were out again…no sense of humour some people (you’d think being a copper and having a pony-tail, that a sense of humour would be a prerequisite.

The comedy continued and Taylor went off injured to be replaced by ‘bombscare’ Tebily, now I like him and he always gives 100%, but he like Taylor, is not natural footballer and whenever they go near the ball, I am expecting a ‘clown like’slip up, after getting back to all square, following Jonty’s sending off (which I missed, because I turned around following a comment from cliché kid) Tebs scored a great own goal.

At this winning goal, the Leeds fans sprung in to voice and a small mob of them ran to wards us from the left to posture and offering us out after the game…a small skinhead in a white top must have run 30 yards to do the ‘hands out wide stance’ and looked a complete div, safely behind a wall and still 20 yards from the nearest bluenose.. ‘pony tail cop’ just watched and let them strut back to their seats and posed. We had a good shout for a penalty turned down, in almost the same spot as the Horses.

Our attacking performance was very good and on another day we would have come away with all three points, it was dire defending and some red mist from Jonty I assume, thanks cliché kid, combined with the backlash of a team who have just sacked their manager that led to us leaving with nothing ( have since seen the TV evidence and DJ deserved to go, so did the Horse for a swing at Bendy).

As I left, I saw about a dozen chavy blues fans surrounded by Police, it looked like they had been up to no good and were destined for a night in the cells, as I emerged in to the sun light, from the dark of the stand, I was met by a huge number of Police and I was temporarily blinded by the sun reflecting off their high visibility jackets.

I picked up Mrs M from Meadowhall and we were back in a pub in Hatton by 7.30, from a fans’ awayday point of view, it was a good day out, beer, five goals, a dodgy penalty, a sending off, a ‘homer’ referee…from a blues footie point of view, it was bad day  at the office.#

I wonder if Bruce managed to get the defence in to his car? you know the one, the doors keep falling off, the wheels buckle, the engine drops out and steam comes out the exhaust..

KRO

murph