I had decided to have this game off, spend the day relaxing after a hard week at work and three nights listening to the cricket. I made a lovely late breakfast for Mrs M and whilst reading my paper over a cuppa, I got the urge (now, now filthy minds, not that.) It was 11.15 and Mrs.M wanted to get the 12 O’clock train to Brum, to go shopping, so I decided to go to the game as it was pay on the gate.I dashed about like a mad thing and at 12.05 I was on my way. Late, but on my way to the game.
For a change, the M6 was very clear and it was a bright, sunny day (some ‘noses already in Burnley, texted me to see if I was there and had I got a ticket. I can’t text and drive lads, so sorry for not getting back to you.) 2.20 found me driving around Burnley looking for a parking space, not a hope!

What I did see were loads of coppers, they were charging about as blues had paid a 'visit' to their main pub (the one on Todmoreton Rd, featured in the 'real football factories' TV show) and I imagine that a few handbags were thrown! Outside every pub there seemed to be gangs of of nutters and Police parked outside.
One copper was on a stand affair in the middle of the road, directing traffic, very quaint and as I got stuck in loads of traffic I had time to notice how 'Hovis-Like' Burnley was, red faced kids playing in the street, blokes with flat caps and /nowhere to park!/ I was staying calm knowing that a spot would turn up and I would soon be in the ground.

I had the radio tuned in to the local station R2B (or something like that) and Blues let in a goal after 4 mins. Still calm I drove around the ground, a detachment of the cavalry seemed to be on the Belvedere Road and the Blues equalized … yessss! I shouted, not a good move with an open window and knuckle draggers glaring at me from outside a pub.
I found a spot, the other side of a park and decided to take a short cut across the park, it was covered in Autumnal leaves, lovely, until I found myself up to my ankles in mud and having nearly slipped over a couple of times on the surface water and muddy leaves, I was finally outside the away end. ********! I had left my wallet in the car, so back across the park to get it.
I was still trying to stay calm! I crossed the park as a 50 year old bloke was shouting and trying to catch some little 10 year old kids, they had golf clubs in their hands and I had no idea what was going on, it was very funny as he kept slipping and resorted to shouting at them, the kids realized they were safe and shouted back.

There were loads of nutters about, /this is 40 minutes in to the game!/, they were in the pubs and on corners drinking cans of beer and would appear later. A Bluenose was carted away from the turnstiles in front of me, I don’t know why. He was late like me and he wasn’t going peacefully and was deposited in a van. Meanwhile I was watching a passing Dyed blonde haired Burnley nutter while this was going on, he shouted something racist at me. For your info mate I’m not black, I’m not a Brummie and I have a birth certificate with my dads name on!
I had decided that I liked the R2B commentary so much that I tuned my portable radio and listened to their version of Tom Ross and Kevan Broardhurst. It was very funny. The radio saved most of their bile for the officials, the ref gave us everything and how Danns didn’t get booked or sent off for constant moaning at the ref and a couple of dives and Jaidi was all over their forwards, like a rash and lucky not to be booked

The second half was about to start. It was windy and cold, the Bluenoses were quiet again, apart from some anti Vile stuff. I watched, listening to the Burnley commentary, quite surreal and not as biased as I expected. The fizzy pop league has some lovely grounds, Burnley is not one of them! Nice wooden seats though.

As I had a traumatic journey to the ground I was bursting to visit the little boys room. ‘Do I go or do I stay?’ I held on and held on but it was cold and I had been holding on for ages, I had to go. Ah, the relief! And Blues scored, typical.
The Burnley fans had been singing the same song for ten minutes, so even though I missed the goal, I was glad it shut them up.
The game won, outside the ground was a bit hairy and the pub knuckle draggers had appeared. They were confronted by a huge Police riot squad, batons drawn, some blues fans were 'up for it' and views exchanged.
I dodged about and escaped back to the car, via a footpath as I was wet and muddy enough. The morals of this away day are plan ahead, leave in plenty of time and don’t go to the loo while the games on!

I’m working for the Saints game, so to those of you going stay safe.

Murph